#THEBIZMICGOTTHINGSTOSAY pt 1(A): BEING BOLD

Posively Yankefied; BTW the Lip Gloss is very necessary for winter if you have big juicy African lips :)

{Memories – Kid Cudi ft David Guetta}

Fresh from the Jet and Seething with Rage!!

When I returned from my aborted attempt at a US college degree in 2006, I was a ragged mess, seething with rage, despondent and simmering with a mix of confused emotions and haunting memories. I was broke, angry, depressed; suffering from withdrawal symptoms and most importantly, I had no idea what I wanted to do with myself. What was I going to do now? I mean contrary to what I told most people - that I was coerced into coming back to Ghana - the truth is that I voluntarily decided to come back home. I had simply had enough of America; I remember effortlessly gliding back and forth through various cliques in a deeply splintered social scene but still remaining on the fringes. I was an authority all to myself in a teeming mass of youthful faces. One of my favorite pastimes was to get stupendously high, dress up in a fancy outfit, put on my aviators, light up my clove cigarettes, grab my iPod and go dance walking on campus (Dance walking is when you walk to a beat and move in time with the rhythm in subtle but recognizable dance moves). I never planned it but somehow I became quite popular for all the wrong reasons – I have a natural magnetism that can at times prove to be my very undoing.

{Want U – Lo-Fi-Fnk}

I reminisce about all of my ridiculously wealthy friends and associates and all the amazing and crazy things we did; and I still smile over those precious memories. I lived the flashy life of an African Prince in college. I was the classic truant; I spent approximately 20% of my time in class and 80% doing what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted. I was a crazy party animal who was down for anything, anytime – anybody that knew me in 'Cuse can verify this. However, though I projected such outward glee, I rarely experienced inner bliss. I was always very depressed so I coined the term “The Bleak Existence” to describe my life as it was then. Another problem was that I was always broke no matter how much money my folks sent me; which was considerable seeing as I never worked a day in my college career. But for all this I was still considered extremely intelligent, I cannot remember how many times my lecturers and academic counselor sat me down and tried to help me utilize my sharp brain but they were many. I even had the entirety of the International Students Office take an especial interest in me – one of their most promising stars had faded into academic obscurity in favor of extra-curricular shenanigans of the most unnecessary kind. A lot of people really tried to help me out but I did not appreciate all these things until much later; sadly all the advice fell on deaf ears.

{Angel On My Shoulder (EDX's Belo Horizonte At Night Remix) – Kaskade & Tamra}

So I got tired one day; I was like to hell with all this crap. What am I doing here anyway, wasting my life away and remaining so unhappy? I don’t know why, perhaps it was because I went to college too early, I was only 17  at the time. Perhaps it was because I was coddled into feeling very special once people realized that I was very unlike all the other African students on campus – I was accepted into all the in-crowds because I was a “rich kid” just like everybody else. I refused to accept that I had obligations to my folks who were financing my education and inadvertently, my flamboyant lifestyle. Perhaps it was because I had everything so easy so I took it all for granted thinking it would always be there. It definitely had to do with my inability to sustain this lavish lifestyle at a certain point – I became the classic moocher flitting from clique to clique. Eventually you will get spurned because there are unwritten rules in social interactions; one has to always bring something to the table. As I became more and more depressed I also became less and less gregarious. I preferred to stay in my vast apartment and just get high, write my science-fiction novel (which I subsequently lost when my Powerbook G4 went on permanent leave, but that is another story) and receive visitors; people still found me fascinating even at that point.

{Burn For You - Kreo}

Recovery 101 - Make a Plan

I personally orchestrated a series of events that culminated in myself on a plane with a one-way ticket heading back towards West Africa. It was not an act of a victorious conqueror returning home from a successful campaign abroad; it was more the scene of a defeated general hastily retreating into his impregnable fortress to lick his wounds from a failed crusade. I wanted to relax for a while and detox myself and then go back and fulfill my true potential - I was severely burnt out. As fate would have it I never did go back to Syracuse – said financiers had decided to cut their “losses” and restructure my educational direction. I remained in Ghana and had to restart my tertiary education all over again; in what was to me the very decrepit educational system I had studied so terribly hard to escape from as a kid. That experience was so traumatic that in order to deal with it I decided that I needed to face reality and grow up. I needed a strategy to survive in the very primitive system from whence I was raised – and so I came up with a Plan!


To Be Continued......
CHEERS :)
TheBizmic {*U*}
PS: The inserts are the songs I was listening to at the time of writing this blog.....(Favs of 2010)