I have had a long time to think up what I want to tell you guys but I felt I would be cheating and lying if I continued spewing inspirational pieces when I myself am lacking in the required self-motivation. I was dealing with so much that I had to prioritize, and this side-project (BMIC) was not as important as finishing up school or looking for serious investors to bankroll my ideas. At least that was what I was trying to convince myself was the case but in actual fact I was not achieving much in terms of my so-called priorities either, school has and never will be a priority of mine no matter what I pretend; I mean I want to become a graduate but I honestly don't think a degree is a guarantee to success - its more of a safety net to fall back on. On the "serious" investor front, I really thought that I had found what I was looking for when the summer ended with the arrival of a new opportunity in the form of an investor I have codenamed the Business Consultant; but I have come to realize that he is not the "liberator" that I made him out to be initially. In the end, I will have to be the harbinger of my own success - and that realization spawned this particular blog. It is common for people to say something like, "I had an epiphany" but this is different in that I suspected before that nobody can help me succeed apart from myself so I must stop being lazy and making up excuses and just get down and dirty with the bloody war I declared against THE SYSTEM....remember. But this time I can't expect the help of any other ally but God; but then I am inconsistent in my relationship with Him so I can't expect favoritism (miraculous help) on His part.
It may sound trite to say this, but this year, 2010, is going to be my year; but then why not, so was last year and the year before that. So long as I have made it here alive and kicking at least I have achieved something. When the big material things you want are not available then the only way to make yourself happy is to appreciate the little things that are actually the most important; life, love, family, health and friends - the very things that we tend to take for granted. And this holiday season has seen me being much more sentimental and thoughtful than would normally be the case. Perhaps it is because of the striking difference between my life when I am home in Accra and when I am in school in Kumasi. Perhaps I owe this sentimentality to seeing so many old faces and reliving old memories of being a carefree, spoilt brat where now I am a hustling young Business Mind. And I don't need anybody to believe in my extremely lofty, and seemingly unachievable goals - I know how almost impossible it may seem but I firmly and fully believe in myself, my ideas and I WILL SUCCEED; I don't need to reaffirm this belief with anybody else. I recently had a conversation with the Business Consultant and it boiled down to a discussion of risk, money and motivation; in the end I guess I have realized one thing it will be foolish of me to expect anybody to look out for me but myself. Americans have this saying, "Always look out for Number One" and I have to ensure that I am no fool a second time around, trusting blindly and putting all my cards on the table when the other party is not being as forthcoming, hiding behind a veil of insinuations while keeping their trump cards well hidden. But overall I have to say that I enjoyed dealing with the consultant, it gave me several insights into a certain type of mentality I will have to learn to deal with, as well as my own capabilities and limits. I certainly wish him well and I have to say that his business acumen is admirable, but I would hope that he does not forget that when the lion leaves the comfort of his pride to quench his thirst, even he has to be wary of the crocodiles lurking in the muddy reaches of the watering hole.
I am in search of sunrise, I am on a quest for daylight but all around me there is deep dark night. I am only plodding on in the belief that the night is always darkest just before the break of dawn. It will take time, even more tears, pain, sweat, disappointment, failure and the learning curve will be steep indeed. I am bound to trip and scrape myself hundreds of times, I am bound to bleed from several wounds, I am bound to slip down the hill and have only a branch for support. As I am nearing the top I am bound to be cold and be assaulted by freezing winds, I cannot look to anybody to guide me unselfishly, I will have to pay a price for advice. The experience will be nerve wracking, it will be involve a lot of nail biting but THERE IS NO OTHER WAY! There exists no shortcut, I MUST take this long and arduous road alone, but through the tears of blood and pain, and fears that will scar and stain, I WILL GET TO THE TOP. And when I do I will take a deep breath and cry for joy and pray with thanksgiving. Even If I don't make it, I will die knowing that I lived chasing my dreams with all my heart, and that in itself is victory! Have a great year folks, but fasten your seatbelts because its going to be a bumpy ride.
